Beyond Recovery

the point for me

is more than recovery

more than hospitals & therapy
TMS and ECT
being given a pill
or confined against my will
until
i’m symptom free

more than a good prognosis

after a bad diagnosis

more than treatment plans
goals, objectives
that moderate my invectives
impulsivity

the incapacity you seek
to remedy
in my unique neurology
through various directives
intended as corrective

That’s all well and nice
laudible, in fact, advice

But I refuse to pay the price
the unbearably high cost
--however admirable
in its intention
to apply the best conventions

--of me being lost to you
and you being lost to me

Of losing opportunity
for us to explore
with curiosity
the outer possibilities
of our unique humanities

I’m not willing to miss the chance
to climb the fence
transcend the trance
of indifference
between your experience & mine

the way our histories define
the way we think, behave
perceive, believe,
relate to fate
based on the contingencies

the alternate realities

that made you you
and made me me

and made us each
strive to survive, revive,thrive

so differently

perhaps our only commonality
the stark universality

of trying to stay alive