Open Dialogue

sharing -- communicating -- listening -- artistry

PAMELA VL PASEKA·MONDAY, APRIL 11, 2016

-- ✨ Open Dialogue -- conversation -- sharing -- communicating -- listening -- artistry -- I can grasp all of that with using various gifted talented modalities -- we each have our own unique reason for being in this mortality of this University Called Life -- some choose whatever resonates inwardly with their being and presence -- it is not mine to make a judgement on any belief system -- life style choice -- who what when where -- race identification does not hold ground or space with me at all never will -- it goes against my inner personification -- tenderly sending this out to the Divine Source with L.O.V.E. -- intuitively listening to my inner self that voice inside of me -- I have made changes in my own personal life -- those are mine -- we all have ours -- if I even attempt to disrespect another -- ✴ I am looking in the " MIRROR OF MY OWN REFLECTION " ✴ -- as with the air that we inhale and exhale we are always growing changing realigning that is sacredness -- it is a gift like no other -- perfection is a word that is often taken out of context -- Learning to Love Oneself extends beyond what is visual -- energy is sent from our own being out into the Universe Transmitted Affecting Us All -- tenderly sending this with L.O.V.E. of acceptance ✨ --

"This is the Material Age " Are WE then the MATERIAL WOMEN ..the 2007 Edition? - I wrote this without editing in 2007-Pammi

` this addition continues throughtout the life times we journey Upated with this information after experiences learned regarding myself ` Namaste' 



[ 13th April 2014 Sunday Pammi's Journal Entry ~  note : editing my work is mine alone ;) Ms. Pamela V.L Paseka  ]
...

“This is the Material Age”

 Are WE then the MATERIAL WOMEN the 2007 Edition?

  Do we cut, copy, crop, paste, delete, with the touch of technology

What do we really need to add to our sculpture?

Continuing to knowingly oppress ourselves on the piece of canvas

 These bodies of ours are for this use in Mortality,

 Why do we desire to deface our own masterpiece?

 Where do we stop?  Are we not the answer who has the voice?

Take a look at your hand, behold its beauty…

Gently cupped we nature the earth

If we reach out each women’s hand

We can change the value of womanhood 



~ Locate the photo of the sand hour class with the womanhood sculture that I entered ~ It is located in my Journal Entry's From My Careeer ~ Note:

What is beauty to one?

Is more beautiful to another

What eyes do we see with?

How perceptive are they that cannot see

How do they describe beauty is the question I ask

The answer is just a whisper

Womanhood need not be altered

We are beautiful, perfect in always

We just need to continue to access the canvases of our minds

Reach down into the breathe of our hearts

Clearly, our souls will be seen

Our intelligence known

Our voices are heard

We are safe

  

“Clocks”

 Time stops for no one

Ticking away, where will we choose to be...? 

My thoughts about the Dove Commercial                               Journal entry Paseka, Pamela   -   Section 0448

  Coach Tami Wooden HED 3                                               October 2007

The story of Tommy Fort as written by his Mother Elaine Billings

The story of Tommy Fort as written by his Mother Elaine Billings.

January 25, 1969 - September 8, 2011 

A LOVING HUSBAND, DADDY, SON, BROTHER, UNCLE AND FRIEND

[  Tommy is spun golden in radiant light right next to you and all of us Elaine Billings. 

We love you more than words can express,  hold on to that forever ] 

 

" he had hair like spun gold or that's what I told him "

Elaine Billings and Tommy Fort 

Thursday September 08, 2016 it will be five years since my beloved son took his own life.

It's burned into my mind and I can see and hear it just like it was yesterday!

I haven't changed one thing about why I'm here.

No one should die because of antidepressants, but it won't STOP until these drugs are taken off the market.

Tommy's Birthday is January 25, 1969. He would have turned 48.

No card bought. No cake baking. No birthday meal planned. No family gathering.

His face is just one of thousands gone before their time. Gone because of pharmaceutical lies! Gone because he trusted his doctor to "First do no harm!" Gone because he had anxiety!

I have spent these remaining years of my life, warning people that antidepressants can and do cause suicide. Tommy is proof of this truth. If he were here, he'd ask you, is taking antidepressants worth the risk? I'm asking, is it really worth the risk?

If you feel inclined, watch how it feels to lose a child you love deeply. If you are moved by it, or believe it, then share. You could save a precious life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AqtqbL-Wic

Tommy's Story

Happy Heavenly Birthday Tommy. I miss and love you more each year.

September 8, 2011

This date, this unimaginable date is upon me. If I close my eyes and still myself, I can hear the wailing sounds of me. I feel the unmerciful pain hitting me. I can see me writhing on the floor, in inconsolable agony. Those three incessant words, invading and burning into my mind. "Tommy committed suicide!" My child, snatched away in the blink of an eye. This can't be true. How do I breath? How do I continue to live? How do I survive this trauma? God tell me how? How could such a happy, loving, strong, generous, friendly, beautiful man die in such a incomprehensible, violent way? I couldn't even begin to wrap my mind around this. I was numb! Mother's are not suppose to witness their child being buried...

One evening, I was sitting on my bed, staring into the nothingness of my life and my son came to me. "MOM HELP ME!" "I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT!" Can you imagine the powerless feeling I had, when my child called beyond the grave, asking me to help him! He must have had a lot of faith in me. Because, that's all I had going for me, just his few desperate words...

After I found out that Tommy was taking two antidepressants for anxiety, Zoloft and Wellbutrin, they were my only leads. I set out to find some answers. To see if, these drugs could have played a part in my son's death. Did I ever find answers! These antidepressants were the "only" reason for Tommy's death! Knowing this truth did not bring my son back, though. I needed to figure out, not only how to live without my son, I needed a reason to live...

My purpose....

No one's beloved child, should die because of "psychiatric" drugs! And, I know Tommy is in this fight with me. Not only to warn about the "truth" of these toxic, deadly psychiatric drugs, but to see the day, when antidepressants are no longer available to MURDER anyone else's beloved child...

RIP my son, until one sweet day...

Tommy's Vivacious Love of Teamwork High School Basketball

Tommy's High School Graduation

Sisters Nicole and Kelley, Mom Elaine with Tommy at his College Graduation

Tommy One of New York State Police Officers Finest Graduation

Tommy and Tina their Magical Wedding

Tommy with their Daughter Morgan

Tommy and Tina at their Son Brett's Baptism

Family - Tommy, Tina with their Daughter Morgan and Son Brett

" I will always talk about my son.
 Time will never stop my love for him or stop my missing him.
 He should be here, antidepressants took him from his family.
 That's the truth! " 

profound is...

NOTE: "Sociopathy" in this poem = emotionally dead / desensitized, lack of conscience awareness.

 

profound is…

profound is one that does not see

or say or hear this truth...

one that does not believe,

does not approve despair moves...

profound is one that does.........

..does..

doesn't open one's heart to understand,

but never fails to judge (aka misjudge, either way)..

profound is sociopathy swept across this land..

profound is that no one sees us

why are you looking at us

when you wish not

...you will not be open to understand.

profound is...

it is this title and that title

and the rest of the cages you keep me in..

that one stereotype

this here stigmatism

and, of course that one, too

profound is all these lists -

everything you say I am,

you write my life for me

as you please

and as they please

whatever suits you rumor-weeds

and here I am

profound

too profound for anyone to ever level with me

sociopathy

so, I level with you, and you and you

and, god damn it, you too

I empathize with you

and you

you laugh

you laugh at me

and tell me to laugh at me

profound is

you oppressing me

and if I don't repress me

you gaslight me

cannot be a human being

a living being

profound is that you insist

that those who feel must stop feeling

"fake it until you make it"

and all you ever make it as

is a sociopath

in a fake persona

acceptably...

while we....

while we keep feeling..

profound is that we keep feeling

and you keep attacking

you keep oppressing

and we keep feeling

we keep feeling

and it is profound -

it is profound that you keep

forcing us into isolation

"dare not be overwhelmed

or else you are sick..

you're a disorder

and you must stop feeling,

you must stop burdening

- stop burdening us sociopaths!!!

Because we dare not feel!!

we dare not feel for ourselves

so we dare not feel for you!!"

profound is that you dare not feel

you dare not express

you dare not show it

do not show that you are human

or you're a disorder, too -

"be sociopathic!!"

But we feel

we still feel because it feels right

we do not desensitize

no

we do not desensitize!

we keep feeling!

and we do not go fake like you

we do not go...

we don't go cultural-norm like you

profound is

that you wish not to trust

to not believe,

but

to be fear-mongered

you are fear-mongered

by your media-funders (runners)

you're fear mongered into..

into no longer trusting

us citizens like you

...like you once were

you were before you

"grew up" into their desensitization

but we still feel

and you shame us!

you victim-shame us!

you victim-blame us!

you sociopaths

profound is that

that you sociopaths

think wE are the disorders...

profound is that so many of us

trust you

and we are vulnerable

since we know you can trust us

and we..

we are destroyed by your gaslighting

and you rob us of our souls

we don't access our souls

anymore for you

because of you

because our souls are

"childish"

or, dare I say, “too girly”

it is wrong to feel

like it is wrong to use

to use your enteric nervous system!!

profound is that you believe

your thoughts control your emotions

tho’ you know what's going on

based off emotions

loooong before you're ever

ever even able to form a thought

emotions are reality

emotions are msgs from the soul

lessons of adaptations

senses we don't notice

but should still trust

instead of being gaslighted

gut-feelings are reality

see what your soul is saying

listen

feel

so you can hear yourself

your honest self

at any age with any emotions or all

and then you may hear us

see us

get to know the profound

sweep away sociopathy from the land

and learn to bond again

profound

if profound I am for being human

and you're right to be desensitized

well, my dead body will grow a flower

and yours grow weeds

and so on sociopathy sweeps the land

and my people cry

while yours, no mercy,

no remorse since no empathy

and profound is

tho’ yours tries to defeat mine

yall were so defeated

you were defeated

to dead inside while people cry

you take it all lightly

easy going sociopathy

Written By: Robin Rhea Derrick

Monday, 8/10/2015 @ 10:59pm